Diligently they gather each week to earn their hallowed place in the Big Scorebook of What Doesn't Really Matter.
Meet them now in this exclusive photo essay:
Dick Crawford, age 52. Team Anchor. Shot a 39 two weeks ago. HANDICAP: low teens. Recent acquisition of a used $25 Ram driver from Play It Again Sports has resulted in consistent 250 yard drives. A good putter, Dick uses the claw technique to steady his grip. Newest addition to the team, he is in his third year. A gifted athlete. Steady.
Tom Story, Age 60. Swings lefthanded. Our best driver, has current license for Jefferson Bus Co. SPECIAL SKILLS: Can accurately identify low-flying aircraft over fairways. HANDICAP: Trick knee, has difficulty hearing the word "Fore" and any advice from teammates. BEST QUOTE: “Even a blind squirrel can sometimes find an acorn.”
Greg Collier, Age Unknown. Team sage. Recent graduate of numerous Arizona golf academies, he is often accompanied by his player/coach/wife Phyllis, who claims to beat him like a rented mule. HANDICAP: aching feet and sore muscles after Wednesday pilates class. BEST SCORE: a net zero on 16; SPECIAL SKILLS: he’s good looking, women love him and the cart girls all remember him. He can call them by their first names without reading their tags first. BEST QUOTE: "What happened to the break?"
Stan Rolfsrud, Age 59. But enough about him.