Friday, January 21, 2011

We've created a snake-handler monster

Ever since Stan's sister Sosie learned that the wobble of the earth has readjusted the zodiac signs, she has taken her new life's role seriously.
Turns out that Sosie, formerly a Sagittarius, is now an Ophiuchus (pronounced Ooh-FEE-yew-kus). If you've never heard of the sign of the Ophiuchus, you should know that the Babylonians, wanting a nice even-numbered zodiac, tossed out the 13th sign long ago.
It has been revived, however, by Sosie and others who have an appreciation for astrological accuracy and things that crawl on their bellies. Sosie has researched her new sign and has learned that, among other things, she's a born "snake handler." 
Today, by U.S. Mail, we received our "Easy Field Guide to Common Snakes of Arizona," with illustrations. It came from the newly-minted snake handler in California, who is obviously thrilled, if not overcome, by her new-found authority. She's just trying to help, we suppose.
We've wintered in Arizona for five years. Seen a lot of varmints and roadkill: rabbits, skunks, opossum, road runners, javelina, deer, porcupine, fox, coyotes, wolves --- but nary a snake. It's too cold, the locals tell the snowbirds. That's just fine with us.
Before we stayed there in 2006, we had read that there were an average of 5,000 calls to the city of Tucson each year to deal with rattlesnakes, prompting some anxiety and the photograph and caption below.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 15, 2006

Upon hearing of Aunt Katie's fear of the Arizona rattlesnake, Ford and Jen Rolfsrud stopped by Sunday and helped lace up her new Timberlines, the first line of defense against against the diamond-back bastard. Ford and Jen have never even been to Arizona, so no one actually knows if this approach will work, but it is probably better than snake venom innoculations. Hoover is being fitted with similar protection.