Bring it on! These Wild Boars are ready

Wild Boars not only grip reliably, they leave 
distinctive tracks, perfect for marking territory.

 Just as the snowflakes reached a crescendo this December afternoon, the doorbell chimed.  It was the harried UPS man, carrying a critical overnight shipment from The Duluth Trading Company. Just in time.
Yesterday morning, Stan, who hates any form of shopping that involves apparel, phoned his very favorite clothier to order a pair of Wild Boar slip-on mocs, with superior traction. The ever-reliable catalogue promised: "Elastic gore stretches for easy on-off" and "the supple pigsuede lets you wallow in comfort." Gotta have 'em. Winter is coming on. In and out, in and out of the slush and snow, no time for lacing and re-lacing those sensible shoes, fortified with prescription arch supports.
Wild Boar Mocs, size 13D -- The perfect footwear for an active retiree stepping smartly to the mailbox in the Minnesota snow.
Stay feral, my friends.

"These shoes deliver super traction in all your favorite less
civilized locales, like shops, factory floor, or rooting voraciously
through the woods."