Note to Comcast: R U Kidding me?

It works. Leave it alone?

Black boxes, clock-wise from left: Ooma, which is a semi-reliable internet telephone connection in service for 7 years.
(Top) A substandard modem connected to a wall wart, Ooma and the wifi box. The big box at right is the one that
came today. Bigger should be better, right? The other box is the Cisco wireless that will be replaced by the
big box somehow. In the foreground are three simple steps to getting this all switched over. And if you believe that. . . 

After 35 years of computer upgrades, starting with a little 5K Macintosh in 1982, here's what we know:
You don't mess with success. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Never upgrade until there'a gun to your head. You'll regret making things "better." The latest isn't always the greatest. Don't pick the scab.
An unsolicited missive arrived recently from the folks at Comcast, the recipients of tens of thousands of our dollars since the miracle of deregulation loosed the free market upon us. Our big brothers there said that they "noticed" that the modem that they lease to us isn't up to their standards and they'd like to replace it, upgrade it, at absolutely no cost. There were vague references to maximizing the value of our service. All one had to do was click "OK" and the new modem would be on its way, via FedEx and at their expense.
The house bullshit detector went off immediately.
If you don't count the doggone sound bar on the downstairs tv, at the moment, our whole ram dam jury-rigged setup works.  Hard-fought connections all. The phone, the internet, the wifi, and the televisions work. Netflix and Amazon streams.  The I-phone rings and doesn't drop out or echo so much anymore. Andy of Mayberry and the Wheel of Fortune entertain. High-definition ball games come in with minimal pixilation and tearing. We can google the world and map out exactly where we're at and where we're thinking of going.
This is an almost ideal state of affairs, a house of cards teetering on our homestead electronic tightrope, and it needs to be protected from outside interference.
But the devil's urges overcame. In an unguarded moment of passion, the OK button was clicked. Couldn't help it. There's just something about bigger and better, or being left out, or the promise of wider horizons that Americans find overpowering, and we are no exception.
The Comcast Xfinity box arrived today.
After surveying the mass of wires and reading the "simple" instructions, that old depressing combination of regret, trepidation and dread has returned.
Pray courage will overcome the agony.