What do I want for my birthday at age 76?
Not much, really. I'll make a list.
1. I’d like the Twins ballgame to be on the same station every game, and for greedy Major League Baseball to quit selling their loyal followers as pawns in the incessant battles for media dominance. Apple TV? Peacock? Fox 9? Bally? Pay per View? Where? What time slot?
(Love the day when you could press WCCO, and hear a long 10 second pause before Herb Carneil would break in with a simple: “Strike two” or a remark from Halsey Hall. Calm pastime. No ratatatat endless commentary from old players rehashing their careers and repetitious theories.)
2. I wish there were 50 channels on television and I could just buy the five that I watch. I think that I buy 1000 of them now, carrying dismal old offerings or fake real tv just to access what I want with difficulty. 1000 channels and nothing to watch. Unbundle!
3. I want our oligarchs to treat their customers as number one, and not make them wait in line, talking to artificial intelligence. Pay big for quality customer contact. Don't seek the cheapest help. Cut cost elsewhere.
4. I wish news stations would not be controlled by marketing departments, so that they could just tell us what they know, instead of making us guess, and tease us through the next ten or so 15 second commercials. I don’t want to “find out who.” Just tell me.
5. l wish to reduce food prices by not displaying thousands of choices.
6. I wish I could control my laptop and phone, and didn’t have to constantly re-learn them due to upgrades and improvements done for “my convenience.”
7. I wish people wouldn’t wrap fresh fruit and vegetables in separate plastic bags, when they are already wrapped by nature and priced by the grocer.
That’s what I want for my birthday, and I promise I won’t ask for anything else.
