Just scroll down if you’d rather not hear a grumpy old man bitch about artificial intelligence.
Here goes:
Despite their advertising to the contrary, my bank has consolidated itself into a mega corp that can no longer relate to its customers, try try try as it might. Their hapless employees are victims as well, trying to keep abreast of the changes and mergers that render them agog, and helpless to make any meaningful decisions. They may do their best, but often that is just shaking their heads helplessly and holding your hand.
My trouble today is not a big deal, but we’re changing banks and would like our social security checks now to be deposited automatically to our new bank. Simple, right?
Our kind SS worker, at the end of a long wait needed to know the old routing number in order to make our transition to the new bank. Reasonable request when everyone is anonymous. Trouble was, our old bank had acquired another old bank but hadn’t updated the routing number when they acquired it, but apparently were happy to continue to acquire our deposit anyway. Social security merrily continued using that dead bank’s number for about a decade. The SS worker had suggested we look at some of our old checks to match the number THEY were using each month. Security requirement, you know. We had tossed those old paper checks, of course. I mean, after 10 years?
So no one knew the dead routing number at our new old bank. It required research through headquarters someplace. We called our new old bank and got a teller and asked about that merged bank. No idea. Neither did the new old bank president, Don.
As funny as it was unbelievable. Don had no idea, promised to research the corporate mergers at the head shed after he got back from vacation. He did. Problem solved.
Then comes the satisfaction survey from corporate, a device it uses to wield control over its minions who have impressive titles but no power. It reduces them to four out of five stars, or so, some management scheme to manage by asking questions that have no relevance, forcing you to choose yes and no and 1 to 10. No questions from corporate about: Do you like our artificial intelligence? Are we too big? Have we lost touch with our clientele?
I did my best to express my general frustration with the system, using their crude survey. It was inadequate.
I do like Don, the local nice guy they call “The president,” but I’m not fooled. We had a warm conversation and Don has the same frustrations as I do. He’s been there two months, one of a long chain of “presidents.” Apparently when the artificial intelligence figured I had checked the wrong boxes, it triggered a call from a faraway place asking Don what the hell was going on.
I’d like to buy him a beer sometime, and we’ll cry in it.
