Today's big pre-season clearance sale at Golf USA in Eden Prairie came just in time for Stan's trip to Scotland this weekend. Cold and rain is predicted for the UK, fellow travelers (photo below) report.Up until now Stan has made an absolute rule that he doesn't golf under such difficult conditions, so he is woefully un-prepared for the elements. Golf is supposed to be fun, right? Why be cold, wet and miserable when you could be inside sitting on a couch eating potato chips instead?
That attitude just won't do in Scotland so. . . today Stan acquired some "must have" stormy items:
No slip winter weather insulated golf gloves; high-tech sticky rain gloves that only work when wet (honest, that's what the man said, they'll fail when dry); and regular gloves just in case there is a regular day. Then, of course, rain-proof (not rain-resistent) jacket with special velcro, snaps, pockets, zippers and flaps that will require some practice and instructions to use; rain-proof, (not rain-resistent) pants with velcro, snaps, zippers, pockets, flaps and draw-strings that will require some practice and instructions to use. These weather emergency items, at 40 percent off, were purchased in red and black, in honor of the Alexandria Cardinals, the Eden Prairie Eagles and the Shakopee Sabers.
Then, of course, a second pair of shoes will be required for when the old trusty ECCOs gets soaked and you have to play again the next day. Meet Mr. Dry Joy, at half price of course, and guaranteed not to leak for two years.
How about some balls and tees? How about a golf hat? the man asked hopefully. Actually, we sell golf balls by the bucket, Stan explained to the disappointed clerk as he wrapped up the purchases. And Stan's daughters select all of his head gear and present it at birthdays and Christmas, since he doesn't wear ties and has a constant need to cover his head.
These nasty weather items will all be carefully packed into the heavy-duty wheeled travel case purchased last week for $9 at the Golden Goose Thrift Store in Tucson. Now to remember to change its Identification tag from the previous owner.
Fore!
