Thursday, January 04, 2007

Tucson or bust. . .

Jubilant neighbors throw
Bon Voyage party
for Stan and Kathleen
Well, actually, it wasn’t a party for Stan and Kathleen at all. Our January departure wasn't even mentioned. It was actually our regular home owners association dinner which is held at the same place every month. It is held the first Wednesday of the month because that’s when the Civil Defense sirens go off and at our age we need all the reminders we can get just to show up for dinner. And we like things that are regular.

(Above, Lisa, Kathleen, Paula, Debbie and Sandy.)
Those of us on fixed incomes show up early to take advantage of the Stonebrooke Happy Hour specials that run until 6 p.m. Some of our snowbird neighbors have already left for either Florida or Arizona so attendance wasn’t at its all-time high of 24 last night. Our bartender and host, Kevin, took a deep breath and patiently announced the specials (shrimp ‘N something and a supersalad), then took the usual round of abuse along with the orders.
(Above, Restaurant manager James instructs the uninstuctable Kevin.)
In the first order of business, Wes “The Weasel” Anderson was cleared of all charges when Association President Lisa Franz identified who actually tore up lawns and battered and bruised the Abbey Point Homeowners mailbox cluster last week.

Neighborhood sleuths had incorrectly hypothesized that Mr. Anderson, whose views on the present location of the mailboxes are well-known, had rented a truck and, under cover of night and snowfall, “accidentally” banged into them. It was incorrectly assumed that Mr. Anderson, frustrated by the lack of action in repositioning the cluster, had taken association law into his own hands. Up to now, the only apparent official action had been the placement of a variety of colorful flags in locations said to denote vital utilities serving the Abbey Point homeowners, particularly cable television. The mailboxes have yet to budge, even after the recent mysterious midnight ramming.
Grilled at his home last night, Mr. Anderson admitted he was disappointed in the slow action on the mailboxes but denied any involvement in the recent bashing, pointing out that he certainly would have done a better job if so called to action.
The association annually contracts with A Plus Services for Grass and Snow Removal, but it was never intended that this operation be performed simultaneously. Turns out the trail of battered mailboxes, ruptured sod and misplaced snow piles is the result of a driver’s training session for the new guy on the new snow removal equipment. Apparently Abbey Point was chosen for the trials because of its scrupulously maintained multi-colored driveway reflectors denoting a difficult but doable snow plow course outline.
Information is not yet available on the trainee’s grade… or if he is still a member of the A Plus Snow Removal Team.
President Lisa reported that Mr. A+ says he takes full responsibility for the carnage and will make good on all damages. This report pleased those present, if for no other reason than it is so rare for anyone to ever take “full responsibility” for anything these days.
(Left side -- "Responsible" party making repairs Thursday at the fabled mailbox cluster. Right side -- This is a really good picture of Kevin and Deb Strong. Click on it to enlarge.)

Satisfied, association tablemates took up the Mystery of the Midnight Baileys. Bottles of Irish Cream appeared on doorsteps throughout Abbey Point a few early mornings ago, without benefit of tags or wrapping to ID the generous sponsors. Residents who happily scarfed up the unexpected treat were at a loss when it came to thank you notes. Consensus was Bill and Ann Cook, but they’ve since left the state for warmer climes so this remains unverified. Nonetheless, they were toasted in absentia.

Other observations heard at the January table:
Rush Limbaugh used to be funny. Now he is just cranky.
Firing Mason was a good thing. Hiring Bobby Knight would be a good thing.
Is it better to have plastic surgery in Minnesota where you have the finest doctors that you can trust, or should you have work done at some exotic locale and come home all healed up?
Macy’s definitely doesn’t have the same prestige as Marshall Fields.
Our neighbor was the last person to speak to the pilot of the plane that took down the storied Marshall College football team.
Where’s Einer?
The Strong’s lower level is close to completion.
Tom and Sandy’s “kids” move out this weekend.
Lisa’s girlfriends gave her a ring for Christmas.

This bit of news comes from former Abbey Point resident Sherri Vogel: Sherri sends greetings and writes: There is a new wine being developed and marketed to seniors who don't like to get up in the middle of the night. It is called "Pinot More."

Stonebrooke has discontinued the popular chocolate fondue, so, in silent protest, no one ordered dessert.

Kevin the bartender with a Whisky Manhattan just the way Stan likes it: with a dash of bitters and a smile.