Friday, May 18, 2007

Meet the Abbey Road Foursome

Every Thursday afternoon this intrepid foursome ventures onto the fairways of the Stonebrooke Golf Club to battle all comers in the vaunted Stonebrooke Men's League. Molded by time and experience, the quartet's greatest fear is an appearance in the bottom quadrant of rankings posted in the Stonebrooke men's room.

Diligently they gather each week to earn their hallowed place in the Big Scorebook of What Doesn't Really Matter.

Meet them now in this exclusive photo essay:

Dick Crawford, age 52. Team Anchor. Shot a 39 two weeks ago. HANDICAP: low teens. Recent acquisition of a used $25 Ram driver from Play It Again Sports has resulted in consistent 250 yard drives. A good putter, Dick uses the claw technique to steady his grip. Newest addition to the team, he is in his third year. A gifted athlete. Steady.

Tom Story, Age 60. Swings lefthanded. Our best driver, has current license for Jefferson Bus Co. SPECIAL SKILLS: Can accurately identify low-flying aircraft over fairways. HANDICAP: Trick knee, has difficulty hearing the word "Fore" and any advice from teammates. BEST QUOTE: “Even a blind squirrel can sometimes find an acorn.”

Greg Collier, Age Unknown. Team sage. Recent graduate of numerous Arizona golf academies, he is often accompanied by his player/coach/wife Phyllis, who claims to beat him like a rented mule. HANDICAP: aching feet and sore muscles after Wednesday pilates class. BEST SCORE: a net zero on 16; SPECIAL SKILLS: he’s good looking, women love him and the cart girls all remember him. He can call them by their first names without reading their tags first. BEST QUOTE: "What happened to the break?"

Stan Rolfsrud, Age 59. But enough about him.