A Minnesotan asks. . .

Would Climate Change Be So Bad?

A press release from the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources said last week that the moose population here has all but disappeared. Moose have no natural air conditioning and Minnesota has simply become too warm.

Too Warm? Really! Well, sir, we have a bulletin that ought to freeze Bullwinkle in his big, muddy tracks:

Forecast for Shakopee, Minnesota: Monday, Hi: 5°, Lo: -10°; Tuesday, Hi: 10°, Lo: -5°; Wednesday, Hi: 15°, Lo: 0°; Thursday, Hi: 20°, Lo: 7°; Friday, Hi: 20°, Lo: 2°; Saturday, Hi: 10°, Lo: --° (apparently even the weather bureau doesn't dare mention Saturday's low).

There's obviously still some work to be done here.
It is high time for a declaration that climate change could, in fact, be good for somebody, particularly when operating under the prevailing philosophy, "I have my pile, now get your own" and "What's good for me is what's good for the country."

The good news is that today our Muslim friends are loading tankers with billions in subsidized oil and, deterred only by the occasional African pirate, are rushing them to our desperate shores in hopes of nipping this T. Boone Pickens idea of energy independence and green industry in the bud. Furthermore, you can now buy one SUV and get the second one for free. The Holiday is offering low-tax gas for a dollar and change and if you buy groceries at Cub you can get another six cents off that.
What more do you need, friends? Let's get with the program.

I am sorry about the moose and the polar bear and the rich folks with ocean-front homes, but I am cold today, and I have property to defend in Minnesota.

So let's pump, baby, pump. Climate change can't be so bad.