About a year ago, after successful cataract surgery totally changed her prescription, she walked in to the Eden Prairie Pearle Vision in Minnesota and simply said "Sarah Palin."
Just recently, after our arrival in Arizona, Kathleen noticed that her glasses could still use a bit of tweaking. So, in all innocence, we pulled over and parked at the Pearle Vision corporate store on Oracle Road in Oro Valley, seeking a complimentary adjustment.
And thus begins our tale of unintended consumer persecution that continues on to this very day.
Optical stores, you are no doubt aware, are quite generous about making these tweaks, even if they didn't sell the eye ware. As Stan waited patiently in the sun with Birdie, Kathleen strolled inside and sat down, explaining that her stylin' glasses just didn't fit quite right. Pearle Vision Associate No. 1 immediately took the glasses in hand and, in short order, cracked a lens. Mortified, they waited as the manager came back from his coffee break. The manager was quite chagrined, gently scolded the newbie, and promised to make good on the error.
This he did by ringing up the Eden Prairie Pearle Vision franchise in Minnesota and requesting shipment of a replacement lens. Kathleen was disappointed as she left the Arizona store, but she still had the use of her Sarah Palin glasses; the crack fortunately didn't obstruct her vision. And Pearle Vision was taking full responsibility.
It took more than a week before the new Minnesota lens finally arrived in Arizona. When it did, Kathleen arranged for a fitting. Kathleen would be in the store area on Wednesday, she said. That wouldn't work, she was told, because the manager wanted to be the one to fit the lens, having lost confidence in Pearle Vision Associate No. 1. He wasn't working Wednesday.
So Kathleen drove there on Tuesday afternoon, at the manager's convenience.
Stan was leaning over a putt that same day when his cell phone tinkled.
It was Kathleen. Crushed.
"You won't believe this," she blurted. "He broke my lens."
"What? Who? You mean the expert broke your lens? You've got to be kidding."
"No. This time they're not cracked, they're broken. He broke them. Now I can't even wear them."
Incredulous and still shaken, Stan missed the easy putt while Kathleen made arrangements with an embarrassed manager who said he was sorry, but then admitted he really didn't want to have anything to do with this ill-fated, misbegotten, complimentary adjustment anymore. The replacement glasses will be shipped from Minnesota directly to our home this time . . . cutting out the reluctant Arizona middle-man. "You are taking this very nicely," he said, in an ironic, ham-handed compliment to his Minnesota Nice visitor.
Kathleen's broken pair has been sent overnight to Minnesota. This morning Kathleen phoned Minnesota to check the progress on things and spoke to Caroline, who has taken full charge of this epic. She promises swift resolution and a pair of tougher, polycarbonate Sarah Palin's by return express.
We hope. In the meantime, Kathleen has been promised a pair of complimentary reading glasses, made in Arizona, if she will drive down and pick them up. We hope she does. Last night Stan had to read aloud almost every word in the Harvest menu.
And when the Minnesota eye ware finally arrives in Arizona? Just who is going to fit them?
Probably not Pearle Version Associate No. 1. . . and certainly not her boss.
