We subscribe to the LA Times here at Hotel California, enjoy holding the paper in our hands, enjoy smelling the ink and solving the daily crossword. Heading home soon though, so the old newspaper publisher called the Times subscription department to cancel the paper.
A robot answered and said it recognized our phone number and then it said
If your newspaper was not delivered, press one.
If your newspaper was late, press two.
If your newspaper was wet, press three.
Ah, memories. Ain't retirement great?