Wednesday, October 11, 2017

A colonoscopy then a little excitement. How was your day?

Souvenir EKG from the St. Paul paramedics.
Seven paramedics and firefighters came en masse to Buca’s Restaurant in St. Paul today to see about a man whose wife was holding up his head so it wouldn’t fall into the spaghetti sauce. The man was passed out, not drunk — he was drugged and dehydrated. A fire engine rolled from Station One.

Capt. Jeff joked that when it is Buca’s, they all come.

Stan has been prepping for two days for a traditional colonoscopy. He drank the prescribed bottle of magnesium citrate on Monday night, began his fluid diet, then completed the awful routine by drinking the gallon of GoLytely Tuesday and early Wednesday morning. Seemed like he had enough to drink.

Colonoscopy complete and satisfactory this morning, and with a warning to take it easy today until the drugs wore off, Stan and his required driver were off to Buca’s for lunch.

It wasn’t until they finished the Chicken Parmesan and the spaghetti that Stan noticed something wrong. Dizzy, disoriented, light headed. “I don’t feel so good,” he told his wife and soon bowed his head. The next thing he knew, the paramedics and firemen in blue uniforms had surrounded him.

“Shouldn’t you be wearing black,” Stan quipped, not knowing what had transpired in the long minutes his head was cradled in his wife’s arms and the help was doing their best to help.

A shot of oxygen and a return of color to his face later, he said he could walk. “Stand slowly,” another paramedic said. “I’ll walk you to the car." Done. (Buca’s kindly comped the lunch.)

After a short nap, friends happened to drop by to see the new place. She’s a nurse. We soon diagnosed the problem. Despite drinking over a gallon of solution for the colonoscopy, Stan had neglected the instruction to drink 8 to 10 glasses of water a day. He was dehydrated… and of course the drugs and fasting didn't help. He just fainted.

At any rate, we’re grateful to the cadre of St. Paul paramedics, firefighters, and the good people at Buca’s for their prompt care and attention. We feel fine and are drinking plenty of fluids now.

And thanks as well to my wife, Kathleen, for her love -- and for keeping my face out of the spaghetti sauce.