Thursday, January 25, 2007

A midnight visit from the Saddlebrooke Patrol

Sometimes we lose our glasses. We can't always remember what exit to take, even though we repeated "take exit No. 58" three times. We forget to take our pills. Where did we park the car? Where do you apply Head On?
Last night we forgot to close the garage door. We were stripping the interior of the car so we can wash all the Colorado dirt and bird doo off of it at Virgil's new car wash behind Target. Somewhere along the line we forgot to finish the job and left the hatch door wide open and the garage door in the up position. Oblivious, we watched the news and went to bed. Normally, this security breach would go unnoticed until the next day when we would chasten ourselves for our laxity.

Bonanza
Not in Saddlebrooke. In Saddlebrooke we have the Saddlebrooke Patrol.
The Saddlebrooke Patrol is an elite pack of gentleman Rough Riders who browse the Saddlebrooke range seeking outlaws and signs of criminal opportunity. Last night they found a bonanza on Rock Crest.
We were awakened shortly after midnight by flashing lights and a persistent ringing. What could it be? My light-sleeping spouse was no help. I scurried down the stairs, trying to remember where the light switches are, how to open the door.

Surreal
"Saddlebrooke Patrol, sir. Your garage door is open and it won't close because the car isn't all the way into the garage." He spoke with a sure confidence that didn't go with the goofy stocking cap he had pulled all the way down over his glasses tops. (These people think it is cold here and it is amazing the garb they think appropriate to 32 degree weather.)
Still in a foggy, surreal half-awake state, I meekly thanked the patrolman, hunted up the car keys, closed the garage door and headed back to bed, hoping my wife would not say "Who was that masked man? I wanted to thank him."
Oh Yes. This morning it finally came to me. You apply it directly to your forehead.